Can someone explain this strange fetish?

Ok, this is really very weird and even harder to describe but I will do my best. In simplest terms, when I see an overweight woman, I want her to see that I am more overweight than her. If that sound weird, well, thats because it is. If I see a heavy women (especially young and dressed a certain way), I want them to so badly see that I am fatter than them, even though Im not. In addition, if I see a very heavy guy, I want them to pass by a heavy women so they notice him. This is NOT a fat fetsih, though that is the closest thing I could compare it to. It has to do with size comparisons and it turns me on for some strange reason. Believe it or not, sometime I was will wear a fat suit in public and deliberately have these large women see me. Although I feel embarrased, I feel this urge for them to see how fat I appear. I do not ever stalk these women so it not illegal-just bizzare beyong belief. I have had this fetish since I was around 11 and I am 43 now. It does not seem to be going away anytime soon. Can anybody please tell me what this fetish is and more importantly, how I can get rid of it so I could live a somewhat normal life? Incidentally, I am married with 3 kids and have a full time steady job so I am able to function. However, it is a secret that I must hide from my family. Help!